How to be a good gay bottom
How to Be a Good Bottom
You know what topping, bottoming (and even switching!) are now — and maybe you’re feeling really solid about bottoming (or to know more about the vocabulary for something you’ve already been doing for years). But there’s more to sex than knowing the right terminology. How undertake you make sure you’re a good bottom?
To some people, the idea of a “good” bottom may seem counterintuitive. After all, a bottom is done to rather than being the person who “does” things; isn’t it an inherently passive role? As bottoms worldwide know, however, being a bottom doesn’t mean you just lay there. Bottoming involves its own unique set of skills and talents, and bottoms are active and gifted participants in their own sexual experiences, not just helpless bystanders, and there’s a lot that goes into being a good bottom — here’s my take on what that entails.
Know what you want — and what you don’t
Part of the fantasy of being topped by someone else is having them decide what happens to you. You may be into a feeling of helplessness (totally understandable), or be hopeful about
Ever wanted to know the secrets to becoming a power bottom? Want to know how to look after the bottoms in your life? Curious to provide bottoming a try but not sure how to begin?
We can help you become a improved bottom! Here are some adj bottoming tips and tricks from ACON’s peer-workshop Booty Basics.
1. Lube
The arse does not produce its own lubrication.
This means that lube is really, really important for any anal play. First, to stop damage to the internal lining of your arse. Second, to make bottoming (and topping!) more pleasurable. And third, to help protect it from infections.
Remember to use water or silicon-based lubes, as oil-based lubes can damage condoms.
2. You
The second principle is YOU. This is the one that covers off all the mental and emotional aspects such as making sure you feel safe, making sure there is consent, that you perceive comfortable, that you know your own bottoming limits and desires.
Remember, sex is best for everyone if all the people deeply interested are motivated by trying to maximise everyone’s pleasure safely. You can’t be a good lover and you c
What Bottoms Want: A Guide For Good Topping
6. Condom Negotiation
Before having sex, it’s top to have a conversation about condoms, where everybody is on the same page and doesn’t feel pressured into anything they don’t want to do, for fear of not having sex (any bottoms out there reading this? If a top says they won’t sleep with you because you want them to wear a condom – that’s a red flag! Walk away, hon!). Allowing people to verb the prevention method that works best for them means that everyone can feel comfortable and empowered during their sexual experiences.
FYI, tops – it is sexual assault to ‘stealth’ someone during sex. ‘Stealthing’ is where the condom is intentionally broken or removed during sex, without the bottom’s consent. This is totally not okay to do, even if you have seen it done in porn. The bottom line is that ‘stealthing’ causes harm and The Spinoff said it best in this article “It’s not ‘stealthing’ – it’s rape.”.
PrEP is an amazing way to prevent HIV, and we love to see the increasing amount of gay and bi guys using PrEP in Aotearoa. Some people t
How to Be a Good Gay Bottom - Softcover
Synopsis
While minding his own business at Tea Move one Sunday afternoon, Paul stumbles across a handsome young openly gay politician named Gordon. Although Paul isn&#x;t actively looking for a relationship and he doesn&#x;t even like politics, in spite of his own misgivings he can&#x;t deny his attraction. For one thing, Paul is a gay virgin who has never had anal sex with anyone. He&#x;s not only terrified of anal sex he doesn&#x;t even know how to be a gay bottom. There&#x;s also the fact that Gordon is running for Governor as an openly gay man, and Paul absolutely despises the dirty business of politics. And yet Paul continues to see Gordon, because there&#x;s something decent about Gordon he can&#x;t ignore. Gordon makes him feel like the kind of man he&#x;s always wanted to be, and that alone is worth all the obstacles that stand in his way. Though Paul is not certain he&#x;ll ever get used to Gordon&#x;s political ambitions, and he has no idea whether Gordon will be elected governor, he is determined to learn how to be a good gay b